Thursday, November 30, 2006

Spelling it Out

One of the ways I've found to occupy my time is working as a substitute teacher. With cold and flu season upon us, I find I'm nearly working full time and in addition to adding a bit of change to the checking account I'm learning all kinds of new and exciting things most of which pertain to the unlimited ability children have to inspire, challenge and amuse me.

The other day I was working in a first- grade classroom. The teacher had left instructions for me, which is always nice. There's nothing quite as exciting as standing in front of a class with the lesson plan reading simply "11:00-12:30 teach math and assign homework." Um, what kind of math? Calculus? Geometry? 1+2=3?

Anyway, this particular day the teacher had thoughtfully left very clear directions. The students were to make a poster. They were to draw their favorite animal, write a sentence about it, color the whole thing and hang it in the hallway for all to admire.

One earnest little boy, Jared, kept raising his hand and waving it frantically, signally some dire emergency such as a need for a color consultation. "What color is a lion's ruffly fur around his neck?" and "Is it okay if I use purple for the eyes?" After discussing the relative merits of his small assortment of Crayolas we turned our attention to his sentence. He asked how to spell each word. "Teacher? How do you spell 'really'?" Followed by, "Teacher? How do you spell 'love'?" He then asked for the spelling of one more word--lions.

I turned my attention to the other students, hoping I really did know how to spell 'orangutan' correctly and offering tech support when one little girl tried to sharpen her crayon in the electric pencil sharpener.

Finally I collected the posters. Jared was wiggling with excitement as he brought his poster to me. "Look, Teacher! I got it all finished! My parents are gonna LOVE it!"

I'm sure they will. I only wish I could be there to see their faces when they view their son's poster featuring a large lion centered over even larger block letters in black crayon proclaiming:


If my kid made a poster like that it would TOTALLY go in the Things- I'm- Collecting -To- Use -Against- Him- Later- in- Life- box.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Just Like It Sounds

We spent most of last week house hunting. Part of house hunting, it turns out, is street hunting.

Hubs: Okay, this house is on Boulder and Sea-ox.

Me: Sea-ox?

Hubs: Hey, don't look at me. I didn't name these places.

Me: Yeah, but Sea-ox? I don't see it on the map.

Hubs: Well, this is a new development so they probably haven't had time to put it on there yet.

Me: I'm looking at street signs and I don't see it there either. Sea-ox?

Hubs: Yes.

Me: Sea-ox. Like a seahorse only more...bovine?

Hubs: Yeah, I know. Weird, huh?

Me: Okay, how do you spell it?

Hubs: Just like it sounds.

Me: Well, I see Apache Lane,, Honey? Any chance you mean Sioux?

Hubs: Oh. Right. I knew that.

Me: Right.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

So anyway...

So I've been out of touch with my own blog for the last few months. There's an excellent explanation for this but I'll sum it up with: Life just stopped being funny for awhile.

Events of the last months have tipped my life upside down, left me on most days either crying on my mother's shoulder or waiting anxiously for her to get off work so I could cry on her shoulder some more. I have had moments when tall buildings, sharp objects and train tracks began to look very appealing for all the wrong reasons. Much Kleenex has been used since summer. Mom has very soggy shoulders.

So, anyway.

Life, as it so often does, goes on. Things are looking up. Mom's shoulders are drying out. (I'm keeping the Kleenex stock, though. You know. Just in case.) I'm starting to see that much good has come from the hell that I'll always remember as the summer of 2006. I'll not be sharing the details here, of course. I do have SOME limits as to what I'll share with the world in general.

I'm contemplating the notion that I may actually be okay again, someday. And you'll be thrilled, as I certainly am, to know that life is STILL a funny thing.

So I guess what I'm saying is: I'M BACK! And guess what? I'm MOVING! As in selling the house, packing up and moving. Funny, funny stuff, especially when moving with Hubs and Son. Okay, funny and frustrating. I'm going with the funny stuff though. And I'm going to put it all right here.

Thanks for waiting for me.