Television, How I've Missed You.

About a year ago, we eliminated TV from our lives. There is still quite a bit of debate over whose idea this was. I can’t imagine I would ever suggest something like this. I’d be much more likely to suggest that we go outside and set ourselves on fire or something. I love TV. Not ALL television shows interest me, of course. But frankly, a world without “Frasier” is sad and bleak my friends. Oh yes, "Friends." I like “Friends” too. (And yes, I’m aware that these shows are no longer actually in production, but we still have syndication, right? RIGHT??) In fact, I distinctly remember Hubs telling Son that we were disconnecting the TV because we were tired of his attitude and constant aping of every kid on TV with the ubiquitously stupid parents. Have you noticed this, by the way? Parents on TV are portrayed as being too stupid to be walking upright or breathing. TV kids can leave the state, have adventures involving law enforcement, the mafia and llamas and parents won’t ever be any the wiser. Our son seemed to have determined that we would be just this stupid.

Still, I clearly remember looking at Hubs in shock thinking, “Hold on right there, Pal. We can take TV away from our child. In fact, I’ll go so far as to admit that it’s a great idea. But let’s not get crazy here. Why should I be punished, too?” In an effort to maintain the critical united front, I didn’t voice my objection at the moment, thinking I’d simply discuss it with Hubs later. But I never really got around to it and it’s probably just as well. I’m not saying that I had no choice in the matter. I’m fully capable of having TV reinstated and Hubs wouldn’t dream of telling me I couldn’t do it. I’m not sure why I haven’t yet. Maybe I recognized on some level that a break might just be good for me too.

Nah.

But I’m thinking the fact that I didn’t ever argue my side has contributed to his current belief that it was actually my idea. Who knows?

What I DO know is it hasn’t been all that bad. Son’s attitude has shown remarkable improvement. His belief that everything he says should be followed by high-fives due to his spectacular putting of the incredibly blind, naïve and unspeakably stupid parents in their respective places seems to have been curbed somewhat.

Additionally, we’ve been spending a lot more time together doing things that are much more important. You know, things like watching videos and DVDs.

Still, I can’t find words to express my profound joy in being reunited with television. Even if it did occur while I was in the hospital, it was totally worth it.

Oh beautiful Technicolor mind drain! How I’ve missed you! Monica, Phoebe, Rachel! I’ve missed you so! And Chandler and Joey! There you are in all your syndicated glory! Heck, I’m even glad to see Ross.

We were kept waiting for quite awhile. And I found I didn’t mind the wait that much.
“Honey look! It’s ER! I can actually watch a show about the hospital, while IN THE HOSPITAL! I’m in a hospital gown, with an IV going and everything, what are the odds of that happening? This isn’t a chance you get every day you know.”

A while later, “Ellen” came on and my excitement knew no bounds. It was like I’d been out of the country and cut off from civilization for years. “Oh look! She still has Tony! I love Tony. And she still dances! Imagine that. She looks good doesn’t she? How old do you think she is now?”

The only bad thing was that during every segment of the show the nurse, in what I can only believe was a well-timed, deliberate plot to make sure I didn’t forget I was supposed to be suffering, came in to talk to me, give me papers to sign etc. leaving only during the commercial breaks. This can mean only one thing. She was watching something on another station with TV breaks timed opposite the ones on the show I was watching.

That’s proof enough for me. TV is an important health aid. I would be neglecting my health if I didn’t have the cable reconnected. That would be wrong. We all have a role of responsibility in our own health care. I suppose if Hubs objects I can just continue watching at the hospital. I just need to determine what he can have removed so I can spend the entire time waiting in his room.