Mom: Son, would you please gather up the trash, take it outside and then take it to the curb?
Son: Um, that’s not my job.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Gathering it all up and stuff. It’s not my job. I’m more in the transportation department.
Son: I just take the big can out to the curb. I don’t gather it up or anything. It's not my department.
Mom: I see. Well congratulations! You’ve just been promoted! You are now working in the Rubbish Collection, Packaging and Relocation Department!
Son: (With much rolling of the eyes) Well do I get a pay raise with this promotion?
Mom: Maybe. How much are you making now?
Mom: Right. Okay, tell you what. I’ll give you a five percent raise.
Son is a tough negotiator. If he were better at math, he’d probably break us before he’s twelve.