Hubs: Well, it's just that this is the third time you've threatened to stab me today. It's starting to hurt my feelings.
Me: Oh. Well I'm very sorry for hurting your feelings.
Hubs: Well, that's ok, but where are you getting all this stabbing stuff?
Me: Oh, that. Well I've been reading about The Wars of the Roses. You know. Yorks. Lancaster. They were kind of a stabby lot back then.
Hubs: Well could you maybe read something less stabby? Because you're kinda freaking me out.
Me: I'm sorry. How's this: If you don't stop doing that I'm going to have you drawn and quartered. Is that better? It doesn't quite roll off the tongue the way "stab" does, but I'm willing to work with you on this one.
Hubs just walked out of the room. Probably because he hates history.